Available Darkness: Chapter 43

by David Wright and Sean Platt on June 11, 2010

(Author’s note: We apologize for the delays from the prior chapter to now. Thank you for the comments and emails, even the ones calling us jerks. We’ve been extremely busy, partly with another exciting fiction project we’ll talk about soon. But we’re back on track and plan to deliver weekly chapters of Available Darkness starting this week.

Just a quick catch-up to bring you up to speed – In the last chapters, police visited John and Hope in search of a missing woman – the same woman who Hope painted as dead and John possibly as her killer. Hope doesn’t want to imagine John as a killer, but as much as she loves him, and as much as they know one another, he has never come clean about his past. John, meanwhile, has been having strange dreams which lead him to believe he may have indeed killed the missing woman, but he can’t tell Hope of his suspicions. We left off with John leaving the house, ostensibly to go to work, though he has some other matters to tend to, first. And Hope has finally worked up the courage to dig into John’s past by finding the key to a trunk he has stowed away in their closet. A trunk which he has never let her see inside. What lies inside the trunk? What does John have planned? Find out in Chapter 43 of Available Darkness)

The historic district of St. Augustine was charming; goth eaves arching over the worn, but still mostly gorgeous, moldings of the peeling Victorians. But street parking was scant in the overbuilt and overcrowded quarter, and unfortunately for the residents. A steady sea of tourists swallowed the majority of available spaces, leaving locals to hitch it several blocks from their own mortgages.

Any other day and the agitation would’ve creased his brow as usual, but John knew that the morning’s half mile walk past homes turned into bed and breakfast spots, interspersed with homes which seemed to be in a constant state of renovation, would give him an advantage. Hope would never see him pass gravel instead of grass as pointing the car west and away from the restaurant.

He’d have to be quick. His shift started at 10 a.m. and he couldn’t risk being late and having someone call home. He felt the swell of Hope’s suspicions, despite her best efforts. Even if he wasn’t hyper sensitive to human emotions, her unease was as plain as a thunderhead on a clear day. They knew one another well, but John knew Hope like his rising breath. His life, however, was mostly mystery. And it would have to stay that way if they were to build a life together.

Guilt slid through his gut, but it was quick to leave. Deception was necessary; no woman could ever love the monster he had once been. Certainly not a woman as sweet and kind as Hope.

And it wasn’t as if he’d sold her on a lie without a center of truth. The John she knew was as real as any other part of him; the him he strived to become. The idealized version of himself, freed from his alien instincts and inhuman hunger. He was, by all accounts, the man Hope had come to love.

Though, if police at his doorstep and vivid dreams were a telltale sign he were living a double life as a murderer, perhaps this John was a guise even to himself. That was exactly what he intended to find out, even if his methods were unorthodox.

John circled his intended block twice, never moving his eyes from the rearview for longer than a second. He couldn’t afford to be followed. He did as usual, swinging the car into the U-Store-It complex, punching his pass code into the dingy aluminum box, then waiting for the black metal gate to lurch open and invite him inside.

****

Hope turned the key and opened the trunk filled with John’s buried past. The smell of cedar brought back memories of her childhood and she smiled.

The contents were neatly stacked; bound journals, a metal lock box, and a red scarf, obviously a woman’s.

Hope heard a creak in floorboard, and jumped, startled, dropping the keys into the trunk with a dull thudding chime. Her heart pounded as she imagined John entering the room and catching her in an act of betrayal, with no time to rinse the red from her hands. But he wasn’t in the room. It was probably just the sound of the house settling.

She caught her breath and fished the keys from the bottom of the trunk. Her hand brushed a stack of five journals, all in surprisingly pristine condition. The whisper inside her wasn’t shy.

“Shut the trunk and leave John’s past where it belongs – in the past. If he wanted to share it with you, he would have.”

But he hadn’t.

And why not?

Okay, but quick.

She grabbed the book on top, smoky black leather with a crimson red strap, then unfastened the cover and slowly cracked it open.

The pages weren’t filled with John’s careful block letters, though it was clearly his writing. The flowing strokes looked as though they’d been scribbled in a rush, despite entries that went on for pages. All 400 pages of the book were packed with writing, and all of it in a language she’d never seen.

“What the hell?”

She grabbed the other journals, quickly flipping through hundreds of identical pages.

Another floorboard creaked and her heart skipped a beat or three before finding its usual patter.

Hope grabbed the metal box, next, surprised to find it unlocked. She swung the lid and was greeted by a stash of folded newspaper articles and photographs, sitting beneath a blue velvet pouch. Spilling from the pouch was a perfectly smooth black rock, the size and shape of a small apple. It felt impossibly colder and smoother than seemed possible, as if it were made of ice.

There were two photos, old and faded. One was of a small, Northeastern, rural-looking two story house. The other was of two young boys, standing in front of the same house, each holding ice cream cones; four scoops and two goofy grins. The boy on the left, she was certain was John.

Hope gulped with the sudden, unsettling realization that she’d never seen another childhood picture of John. The boy on the right looked a lot like him, but older and taller.

A brother? John had never mentioned a brother.

The newspaper articles, at least 10, and a decade old, were all about a string of unsolved murders scattered throughout the southern edge of North Carolina. A chill slithered down Hope’s spine as she thumbed through the fading newsprint, her brain doing calculations that filled her with terror for what might lie on the other side of the equals sign.

The articles weren’t being harbored for stories of murder. No, there was a name circled in red on each of the pages, always just below the photo of the FBI agent it belonged to: Jack Baldwin, an older, hardened version of the second boy in the photo.

“Who are you, John?”

*****

Unit 178 was in the farthest corner of the lot. John parked his car, then got out and walked in a straight line toward the corner, glancing at the pair of cameras mounted on the roof above the unit. He flipped the back of his hand in a casual wave before knocking on the corrugated metal bay door, serving as the only way in or out of the makeshift “office.”

“Hold on, hold on,” an out-of-breath voice said, followed by the sound of a cascade of soda cans spilling to the floor. John stifled a laugh as the door rolled up and the chubby face greeted him.

“Still haven’t cleaned your office, eh?”

“Maid’s month off,” Larry grinned.

*******

Hope’s eyes moved from photo to article, then back again as time refused to march on. The article wasn’t nearly faded enough to hide the truth, and she knew there was no way she could bury reality and still meet his eyes. But bringing it up without telling him she’d gone fishing through his stuff, how was that possible?

Why is he hiding a brother?

Another creak, this one closer. Hope looked, even though she knew John wouldn’t be there. He wasn’t.

But someone else was, a man. His bald head and wide smile stepped through the threshold a split second before his impossibly black suit followed.

“Hello, Hope.”

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Available Darkness: Chapter 42

by David on April 9, 2010

“Hope?”

She surfaced from a stew of memories to see John in front of the bed, one hand on the blond wood of their sleigh bed, the other buttoning the top button on his black shirt. He worked just three days a week, but one was Saturday, which meant a dozen or so straight hours of hell at the restaurant. John would leave at 10 in the morning and be lucky to beat midnight home.

She glanced at the clock – 8:14 a.m.

“Going in early?”

“Yeah, Jerry asked if I could come help get things ready for the Dresdin banquet. They booked it last minute, as always.”

“Oh,” Hope said, eyes slightly off to the side and fingers roaming in a circle around John’s rumpled absence.

“What are you doing today?” John asked.

“I dunno. Maybe I’ll call Michelle, see if she wants to do something.”

“Okay,” John said.

He was standing at the edge of the bed, but barely in the room. She wondered if he were worried at all, leaving her home alone after last night and what happened with the police this morning. Or maybe his mind was on the police for another reason? Something in her stomach soured the rest of her for letting a cobweb of doubt settle in a corner of her mind.

She looked back up, reminding herself that the man she loved was incapable of killing.

“I’ll be okay,” she said.

His face thawed. Dancing eyes pulled his face into a grin that seemed somehow… off.

Doubt turned like a screw, deeper in her brain. She thought about John’s inability to sleep and the occasional late night jogs he insisted he needed to burn his energy.

She thought about the trunk.

John’s trunk—the lone belonging he had moved from his world into theirs’, other than the clothes on his back and few worn books —flickered in her mind’s eye. The trunk had sat in the back of their closet since they day he brought it into their house. She’d never seen him open it, nor had she seen what was inside it.

When asked about the trunk, he said it was mostly junk from his past. However, junk didn’t usually invite so many excuses. Bad memories he didn’t care to revisit was the most regular one. Given the bits of his history she’d culled together from scraps of conversation or odd comments, she suspected he’d been abused by a few of his foster families. But she never pushed it.

Or asked him why the trunk was secured by a thick padlock.

“Good; go out and have some fun,” he said. “I’m sure everything will be fine. If you need me, I’ve got my phone. I’ll rush right home.”

Hope followed John to the threshold and kissed him goodbye. She closed the door, turned the lock, and then slid against the wood until she was ass down, staring at the ceiling. She would’ve liked to believe she was lost in thought, but her mind was wandering up the stairs and to the back of the closet and the trunk sitting beneath a folded pea coat.

Slapped by a sudden memory, Hope shot to her feet, glanced out the window to make sure John was gone, and then headed straight for the change jar on his nightstand, where he made regular deposits of pocket treasure rubber bands, paper clips, and keys.

Guilt gnarled her insides with every step. Her fingers curled into the banister.

John was the kindest, most honest, genuine man she’d ever met. The first to treat her with respect and the first to care more about her than her bed. She was his everything. Never in a million years could she imagine he would lie to her.

Nor would he ever spy on her and search through her belongings.

She hedged at the lip of the closet, and then reached inside to flick on the light. A spark of static electricity shot through her hand and she snapped it back quickly. The closet was packed with clothes, boxes of her junk and small mountains of things they didn’t have room for but weren’t ready to toss.

The trunk sat there, a bulwark between their separate pasts.

Don’t do it, she told herself—even as she grabbed the change jar and dumped its contents onto their unmade bed.

Leave it alone.

Her hand waved through the cool sea of silver and copper until it found what she was looking for. A single brass-colored key that looked as if it had never been used. She went back into the closet.

Don’t do it.

The voice was insistent, but not very convincing.

She inserted the key. A latch clicked inside.

TO BE CONTINUED … Next Friday

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Available Darkness: Chapter 41

by David on March 19, 2010

The gallery was swarming with people. Hope shifted, uneasy under the glare of attention, doing her best to widen her half smile into a full one, while keeping the small talk flowing, between both those who wished to meet her and the money people Sergei sent her way.

So this is what it feels like to be a rock star in training, she thought.

Though the moment was everything she had always dreamed of – the launch of her career as a bona fide artist – part of her wanted to shrink away, run home and curl into a comma on the couch, with a good book and a blanket of silence. She had to fight the urge to flee and find that social part inside her, incongruous with her more reclusive artist side.

John happened to be passing by, right time and right place, as he would later say, when he happened to glance into the gallery. Her painting had drawn him in.

Dusk Wanderlust was a painting of a man standing beneath a tangled briar of shadows at the edge of a high bluff, a jagged crag of jutting rock above a wide sea of rolling waves and a bruised purple sky. The man stared into the distance, and seemingly right into the depths of John. Never one for art, John would’ve kept on walking had he not felt certain that he and the man in the painting shared a secret.

Hope was speaking with Sergei about an irritating harpy of a woman, Doris McEllny – an overbearing, far-too-chatty 50-something socialite whose money and name tore her ticket into these sorts of events. Though she acted like everyone’s best friend, her cattiness made her the first whispers on people’s lips the moment she sauntered away.

Sergei was assuring Hope that she’d only have to put up with people like Doris at every major event and most of the minor ones. Hope laughed – an honest sound that echoed against the gallery walls and warmed her from within. She glanced around to make sure Doris wasn’t around and spotted the man fixed in front of her painting, his head tilted in a pantomime of attempted recall.

“Oh, he’s a cute one,” Stephan teased Hope, nudging her forward, “what ever are you waiting for?”

Hope was already a mile outside her comfort zone. She turned to Stephan, laughed again and shook her head no. Something, however, compelled her feet to start moving her towards the stranger.

At first, John hadn’t noticed her. As she approached from behind, his head was still titled in that odd way, reminding her of a curious cat she had as a child. She noticed his dark hair, falling just past his strong looking shoulders, a bit wild, but not quite grunge. A thick black pea coat hung a few inches past his waist. His jeans were a faded, cerulean blue. His boots were black, and scuffed enough to show the miles. His clothes said blue collar, maybe even local bar band player.

Hope had gone out with too many guys in that area code to have interest in another self-obsessed boozer. If he hadn’t turned, ever so slightly at that moment, she might have retreated.

The first thing she noticed was his face, remarkably youthful, healthy and smooth, not at all the kind of face weathered by years of various abuses she expected to see. Then there were his eyes, impossibly blue, peeking out from beneath his dark thatch of hair.

Hope’s tongue was a mushy brick sitting in her mouth. She wasn’t used to approaching guys. In fact, every first date she’d ever been on had been initiated by the guys.

She spoke without thinking, “This artist is a real hack, eh?” Nervous laughter hid the small death inside her. What the hell was that?

His face looked as if he were trying to think of something clever. Ah, thinking before you speak, what a novel concept, Hope thought. His head tilted like a quizzical cat again, then he raised a finger, pointing at her, and smiled widely.

Such a beautiful smile.

“Ah, you’re the artist, aren’t you?” His voice was deep and strong, but also friendly. A confident voice with the slightest hint of an accent she’d never heard.

She nodded, then blushed against another nervous laugh, might have even crossed one leg in front of the other, though she wasn’t even aware of her whole body at that moment.

He explained how he had been walking by, saw the painting and was mesmerized. He just had to come inside to get a closer look. They talked about her inspiration for the painting, a dream she had had. They discussed her hopes of becoming a real artist and the drudgery of her real job. She rambled on about her favorite movies, books and trashy magazines. Hope even told the stranger about the time when she was 12 and had stolen a Kit Kat from the corner store.

Just like that, 23 minutes disappeared and the world faded around them. They were the stage’s only players, talking fast, laughing, and trading all manner of minutia, when she suddenly found herself observing the moment from within herself and thinking, I really like this guy.

In all honesty, she actually thought, I could really love this guy, though she would never have admitted it.

Then, as if this handsome stranger had somehow sensed her inner dialogue, conversation paused and stretched into the first awkward silence since they’d begun speaking.

Holy shit, I’m out of interesting things to say! She thought to herself in a panic. Please, please, say something so I don’t have to!

And then he did.

“I just realized, I haven’t even introduced myself,” he said.

She was stunned that it had not even crossed her mind. She’d already talked for so long and not even asked his name, or given her own.

“John,” he said, extending a hand.

“Hope,” she nearly whispered, looking downward, blushing again, as their hands touched.

She would have sworn that she felt the tiniest of electric sparks.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Available Darkness: Chapter 40

by David on February 11, 2010

Hope trembled, unable to draw sense from the scrambled mess of thoughts scattering her focus.

John stood at the foot of the stairs, dumbstruck. “What are you talking about?”

“In the painting, the woman in the picture, lying on the ground. She was dead.”

“There isn’t a woman in the painting,” John said.

“I painted over her! That’s why I was so upset last night! I painted you as a … killer.”

John took a step forward, feeling a sudden need to soothe the tension with an embrace. He wrapped his fingers gently around her arm. Hope flinched. Only for a moment, but it was long enough for him to notice. He took a step back.

“Wait a second; you don’t think I killed that woman, do you?”

Hope shook her head, “No! But I painted her, John. I saw her. And now she’s missing. What does that mean?”

“Maybe it was someone else in the painting,” John reasoned.

“She had the same tattoo!” Hope choked in the middle of her sentence making same tattoo sound like a separate thought. Tears streamed down her face, making her cheeks pink and puffy looking.

John reached out again, arms open. This time, she collapsed into his embrace. While Hope didn’t really believe that John could be responsible for killing someone, some part of her, perhaps the same part that foresaw the girl’s disappearance was still wary of him. And yet, strangely, another part, the one being comforted in his strong embrace, didn’t care if he admitted to being a murderer. At that moment, in his embrace, he could have confessed to anything and it wouldn’t have mattered.

“There’s an explanation for this,” John said, his breath warm on her head as he held her tightly. “Maybe you recognized her from the neighborhood, or at the bar?”

“I don’t think so.”

“It’s a coincidence. She’s been missing for what? Two nights? She’s young. She’s probably out partying or something and forgot to check in with her roommate.”

Hope pulled away, and looked up at John. “Do you think so?”

“I don’t know what else to think,” John said.

They stood there for a while, at the foot of the stairs, their embrace tightening as though a taut caress could change the truth. At first, Hope thought John was simply offering her comfort. But, no, there was something else there. John seemed scared. But of what?

As John showered and got ready for work, Hope wrapped herself in the comfort of their bed, and wondered just how well she really knew John.

They had met during a time of sea change for both of them.

Hope graduated from the Pratt Institute in New York in 1995, but found breaking into the well-paying end of the art scene about as easy as spinning straw into gold. After a vacation with a friend, she found herself in love with St. Augustine and its old world Spanish architecture. Though the art community was smaller than New York’s, it wasn’t much easier to crack. She’d entered and won a few contests, took part in some exhibits, but hadn’t exactly broken out or been able to translate her efforts into regular income.

At first, she told herself she’d wait tables at Umberto’s to support her artistic endeavors. She considered herself an artist, who happened to wait tables. Then, almost without realizing it, she’d nearly stopped painting completely. She was a server, who just happened to occasionally paint.

In her experience, dreams didn’t die quick deaths, so much as suffocate in a slow and almost invisible process.

Then she met Sergei.

He, and his boyfriend, Stephan, were regular customers of hers at the restaurant. They were extremely friendly and often joked with her, asking about her day with nearly identical smiles. Surprisingly, Hope had never thought to mention her artistic passion. One day, she overheard them talking about an old gallery that had gone out of business the year before. Hope slipped into the conversation and discovered Sergei was also an artist. He’d made his money, quite a bit of it judging from his taste in clothes and wines, in real estate. He had decided to bankroll his true passion and open up his own commercial gallery.

Hope joked, “Got room to showcase an up-and-comer painter/waitress?”

She was kidding. She never thought they’d take her seriously.

Stephan, suddenly excited, said, “What do you paint?”

“Oils, mostly—realism, romanticism, impressionism,” Hope laughed, “I’ve even tried pointillism. Take your pick of any -ism, really.”

For a moment, she worried that perhaps she should have been a bit more serious in her response. However, she was so used to the carefree banter with them that she found it hard to be serious.

“Do you have any samples?” Sergei asked.

“Yeah, I carry canvases wherever I go,” Hope joke again, before biting her tongue. Then she remembered that she’d given her boss, Umberto, a painting for his birthday the month prior. She practically skipped to his office and asked if she could borrow it for a second, then ran back to the table.

“Ta-da,” she said, holding the canvas, trying to get the best lighting.

It wasn’t her best work by any means, but it was good. The painting was of the diner, a pedestrian subject, but one she thought would please Umberto. The magic in the painting wasn’t in its subject, however, it was in the beautiful mingling of light and shadow which cast the canvas in a romantic warmth.

“Oh my god,” Stephan said. To say he loved the painting was an understatement. Sergei echoed the sentiments.

Two months later, Sergei featured two of Hope’s works at the grand opening of his gallery. Little did she know one of those paintings would lure John into her life.

TO BE CONTINUED…Next Friday.

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Available Darkness: Chapter 39

by David on February 4, 2010

October 2, 1999
St. Augustine, Florida

The officers could have hit John in the head with a sledgehammer and the ringing in his ears wouldn’t have been any different. He stared in disbelief, his senses on fire.

The photo, it was her, the girl in his dream the past few nights. The girl he had murdered and fed off her life force.

His brain buzzed and stomach churned. Hs heart pounded at three times the beat, rocking something inside him like a raft on a turbulent sea. John thought he could keep it inside. The mask of innocence was warm on his face before he’d even opened the door. The disguise had once been daunting, but it had grown a little less difficult with each day spent burying his curse beneath the facade.

John tried not to stare at the frozen face on the glossy picture, the woman who haunted the blurry frames of his dreams, staring with dead eyes directly through him. The photo threatened to split his mask at the seams and reveal the savage monster that was lying in wait.

“Have you seen her?” Detective Avery repeated.

“Can’t say I have,” John lied, pretending to wipe sleep from his eyes. Hope’s fingernails cut into his flesh as she pulled herself closer to him.

“Her name is Rebecca Ashby, she lives one street over. Went missing two days ago,” Avery said. “We’re asking around to see if anybody’s seen her.”

John shook his head, trying not to oversell his ignorance.

“No,” he turned to Hope, “How about you, honey?”

Hope’s face was a sheet, as though she were the one with something to hide. John’s eyebrows met in confusion, the first honest emotion to crack the surface of his mask.

“No,” Hope shook her head after too long of a pause, “I mean … she looks familiar. Maybe I’ve seen her in the neighborhood, but … no, I don’t think I’ve seen her in the past few days. What happened?”

Avery’s head tilted slightly, as if he were somehow picking up on and trying to process whatever Hope was hiding. John looked at Detective Johnson and felt a slight chill as the officer met his gaze. John glanced back at Avery, as his insides started to stir. A current of energy began to brew in his fingertips as the darkness threatened to rise.

The darkness he had buried for more than two years, the power he thought he’d managed to lock away for good, was right there, ready to explode from his body and annihilate his enemies.

No, not now.

If the darkness broke free, then nobody was safe. If Hope touched him, she would be reduced to ashes.

No, no, no, no.

He closed his eyes and concentrated his breathing.

Slowly … In and out … Focus.

“Her roommate reported her missing, “ Avery said. “Last time anybody saw her was Wednesday night at Harry’s Pub, where she works as a waitress.”

“Ah, that’s where I’ve seen her,” Hope said, “but no, I haven’t seen her recently.”

Avery glanced at her for what seemed an eternity.

The darkness swelled beneath John’s skin, begging for release. Ready at a moment’s notice to strike.

Suddenly, the truth became impossible to ignore. Though John thought he’d buried his curse, it was only dormant, waiting to turn its whisper into a wail. Only it hadn’t been dormant, had it? Not if he had anything to do with this missing woman. And between the blurry map of his dreams and the two officers standing on his front porch, anything outside the obvious seemed highly unlikely.

He’d gone to the bar, spotted her, followed her as she walked home, and then pounced on her, predator to prey. He dragged her into a side street, then into the underbrush where he swallowed every drop of the life inside her. In the dreams that had plagued him in recent nights, flashes of her memories pulsed through his brain. Suddenly, on the doorstep, in front of the questioning police, those memories started to spill into his waking life. And with them, the darkness swelled as he struggled to keep his face a solid, emotionless mask.

“Well, if you remember anything or see her, give me a call, will ya?”

Avery handed Hope his card.

Hope reached out and took it. Her hand was shaking just slightly, John noticed, through the chorus of memories and thoughts flooding his head. He hoped the shake was subtle enough that the cop hadn’t picked up on it.

Apparently, he hadn’t, as he and his partner thanked them for their time, then turned around and left.

“Good luck,” John managed to say as he extinguished the porch light and quietly closed the door.

The darkness receded alongside the messy spill of memories. He drew breath from the deep air of relief, then noticed that Hope was staring at him, her eyes wet.

“She’s the girl,” Hope said.

“What?” John asked.

“In that … painting, with you. She was in the painting. You were floating over her. You had … killed her.”

TO BE CONTINUED…Next Friday.

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