Comments on: Available Darkness: Chapter 40

By: admin

admin — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 22:35:39 +0000

No – sorry I missed your response.
We were extremely busy. We’re back at it though! Thank you for your patience.

By: The Bug

The Bug — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 20:51:20 +0000

Did I kill the book?

By: Content Marketing Diary | Ghostwriter Dad

Content Marketing Diary | Ghostwriter Dad — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 08:03:19 +0000

[...] Darkness was right at home on its new site with the release of Chapter 40. It seems rather unbelievable to David and I that we’ve been publishing the story for 40 weeks [...]

By: The Bug

The Bug — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 13:43:31 +0000

I’m enjoying this background sequence too.

I don’t know why, but this paragraph bugs me (I am, however, NOT a writer LOL):

“She had the same tattoo!” Hope choked in the middle of her sentence making same tattoo sound like a separate thought. Tears streamed down her face, making her cheeks pink and puffy looking.

I would change it to:

“She had the… the… same tattoo!” Hope choked up, tears streaming down her face.

I think using “making” twice in two sentences is the culprit for me…

By: David Wright

David Wright — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 05:47:07 +0000

Hi Trina- Thank you.

As for the reference, it is simply a major time of change for both of them. Hope deciding to take a chance and pursue her dreams and John moving from California to Florida, though we’ve not yet delved too deeply into the how or why of that.

By: Trina

Trina — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 05:16:24 +0000

Nice background details. One sentence didnt make sense to me though: They had met during a time of sea change for both of them. The ‘time of sea change’, is that a reference to something particular?